Not everyone is going to like you all of the time (and that's okay).
I want to talk about our relationships at work. As I'm getting ready to start a new job, I'll be working with new people. I can't help but worry about the unknowns of how we'll relate to one another: will they trust me or micro-manage? Will we butt heads? Will our styles align or misalign? How will we handle conflict?
As a recovering people pleaser / perfectionist, I want all of my new co-workers (superiors and otherwise) to like me all of the time and approve of everything I do. But, I've learned that not only is this not realistic in the workplace, it shouldn't be what we strive for. Striving to be liked all of the time doesn't 1. produce the best work and 2. allow for us to honor our own needs. This is a big shift from what we're taught in school: do everything according to the rules and you'll get good grades. Be liked by your teachers. Do as authority tells you to and you'll succeed.
Work is different: it's a dance, a constant negotiation. Sometimes we are in perfect alignment with those around us, other times we are pushing for a different agenda.
I'll give an example. At Freshpet, I had a different style than many of my bosses (a more "millennial" style, if you will). Because of this, I had a different point of view on time off. My boss and I often butted heads about this, and once got in an argument about a time off request. My perfectionist tendencies caused me to feel very upset by this -- I was worried and upset by his disapproval, but conflicted because I also really wanted my freedom to take that extra few vacation days as long as my work was getting done.
Here's where the lesson came in: my boss taught me that it's okay if your team isn't thrilled by everything that you do all of the time. He used the metaphor of a bank. The more good will that you accumulate (through good work, etc), the more is deposited into your account. And when you do something that pisses someone off or that someone doesn't agree with, a little is withdrawn. But the idea is that there is such a solid foundation of good within the bank that just because a bit is lost doesn't mean that the scales are tipped in a negative direction.
Work is so much of where our lives are lived -- where we show all parts of ourselves. The deposits and withdrawals are a natural part of the day to day in any area that is so pervasive. As long as the balance doesn't fall below zero, we are okay.
I have to remind myself of this often. When I do, I'm reminded that my only real job in life is to show up and do the best I can for my work and for myself. Sometimes I will be celebrated, sometimes I will be met with disapproval. But as long as I feel good about the choices I am making, and as long as I'm building up that account of good will, I know that I'm doing well.