Hiding
/Why is it so easy to hide?
But on the flip side, why is it so painful?
I love writing and sharing the things that I’m learning. And the thing is, I’m always learning. Every week, every day, there is something new to explore and share. But I often keep these things to myself or to the quiet of my journal. I sporadically come back out and send an email, post on the blog, post on social… but I can never get myself to commit to or sustain my sharing.
Why is this?
Because hiding is easier. It feels safer. I don’t have to worry about how what I say or think might impact other people. I don’t have to wonder if I’m annoying you with my email(s). I don’t have to look for feedback (positive or negative) that I should keep going. I can just keep on keeping on in the safety of my own mind.
But hiding keeps us stagnant. There is no room to grow, progress, stretch, or take up space when we are keeping to ourselves. We won’t rock the boat, but we also won’t change. And often, we won’t get closer to what we really want. Which is painful! Parts of us calling out to be seen don’t just quiet down because we tell them to. Instead, we suppress them in the name of safety. But they’ll still be there, under the surface, an itch waiting to be scratched, a dream waiting to be expressed.
I coach people on this a lot in our O50 work. I say this because I want you to see and feel that this is not just limited to showing up in terms of sharing your thoughts/feelings online. Hiding happens all the time, multiple times a day. At work when we don’t share an idea in a meeting or ask a boss for something we need. In our relationships when we hold back a feeling and let it boil and bubble over.
Hiding happens all the time, because we’re constantly being invited to stretch.
So how can we stop hiding?
We may never entirely. It’s a reflex that is often unconscious.
But we can look for opportunities to stretch instead of suppress. We can listen for the call to do or say more, examine the fear that accompanies this call, and then choose to take a chance instead. We can do this every day in ways big and small, and over time, build the muscle. The muscle that says “I’m here, this is who I am and this is what I want to do and I’m going to do it even though I’m scared.”
So today, look for places you are holding back or hiding. And ask yourself, what one small step can I take towards showing this part of who I am?
Hello, World!