LOVE IS A FEELINGS EXPLOSION THAT WE SOMETIMES HATE

The early stages of falling for someone are accompanied by all the feels. 

Which is completely and utterly normal, maddening as it may feel.

Those early days can be the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. One moment we are in our lover's arms feeling the most joy we've felt in ages. The next, we are staring at our phone screen wondering when the next text will come in. We sit with baited breath waiting for the next invitation to spend time together. We question ourselves, we question them, we analyze actions, conversations, things unsaid and undone. In one moment, we are confident in our love and in the next we are terrified that our love will never amount to anything.

But we hate the feeling of uncertainty. We hate feeling vulnerable. And we HATE getting hurt with the fire of 1000 suns. 

So what do we do?

We shut off. We hedge. We hide. We pretend. We close down and keep our feelings to ourselves. We try our best to keep it cool. We play into the bullshit stories that our wounded parts concoct. We try to put ourselves at ease by questioning our lover's intentions in hopes of making a quick evaluation and getting the hell out of there if there is the slightest chance of pain in the future.

Love is highly charged, babies.

It's highly charged for many of us.

And the best thing that we can do in this stage is to STAY OPEN. As much as your mind may be telling you to close and keep yourself safe, DON'T. 

To fall in love, you have to actually let yourself fall. Let your heart open. Stay open. Show yourself. And allow.

Ask yourself "where am I trying to self-protect?" and take notice of that.

And while your mind will be screaming at you to DO something, to figure this out, the only thing you really need to do is surrender- and maybe also listen to the words of your beautiful, steady heart. Which, you may need to get very quiet to do. Because all of the other parts of you are prone to screaming.

She will guide the way.

x