I'm sitting here, reeling a bit from a silly conversation I just had with the person I still hold onto after almost two years of being apart. Reeling because I realized AGAIN in the most played out deja vu of all time that I'm pretty sure he's not going to change, and that our values aren't going to align, and that he's not going to understand what it takes to be with me these days.
But more importantly, I've realized that it's time to break this pattern of pity, self-doubt, and the idea that I'm not deserving.
So today, before you, oh blog community, I'm making a declaration. Not an affirmation, not a wish, but a true declaration. If I could chisel it into stone, I would. I would shout it from a mountain top as long as it would echo into eternity.
This is it.
The jig is up, universe/limiting beliefs/astrology/other bullshit things that I believe are getting in the way of allowing in love.
I DECLARE THAT I WILL BE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BY MY BIRTHDAY.
I deserve love. I deserve a loving partner, who wants to be with me each and every day and believes that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. And who I feel the same way about it. I'm a good person, I have done the work, I'm a catch. I deserve big. love.
And it's gonna be motherfucking awesome.
I surrender. God/universe, bring me what I'm asking. In the words of Gabby, bring me a miracle.
Here goes nothing.... <3