Take one step and open the floodgate [revisiting my first coach]

Yesterday, I was lucky to have breakfast with my very first life coach, the lovely Caroline Zwickson. This was special to me for so many reasons: I got to meet her new son Felix, we caught up on life and our coaching pursuits, and we had delicious food. But more than that, this simple breakfast brought up a huge realization about our own paths to personal growth that I'm really eager to share.

Caroline and I worked together about a year and a half ago. I had just returned from Coachella, my favorite music festival and one of my favorite weekends of the year (generally). But that year, I had struggled through it. I was still reeling from a sucker-punch of a breakup that had taken the wind out of my sails and made me question everything about myself and my life. I had spent the festival in a cloud of anxiety and self-doubt, thinking about him and telling myself he was having a better time there without me. I found myself waking up in tears, and while I did my best to snap out of it, I couldn't truly enjoy the moment. I was surrounded by revelry and joy, and the best of the best in music, but all I could hear was that nagging, mean bitch of a voice in my head.

Why aren't you having fun? What's wrong with you?

You're not pretty or skinny enough to be here. Look at the other women around you. They're celebrated here, you're not.

{EX} doesn't want to be here with you anyway. You'll be alone forever.

You'll never be truly happy. You'll always hold yourself back. You'll never be free.

I'm not sure about you, but when my inner critic gets going, she's vicious. And at the time, I didn't know any better than to follow her every command and order, to believe that she was ME, that I was JUST THAT MEAN to myself, and that she was right. So, I followed her into the dark spiral. 

The beauty of the dark spiral is that dropping down into it finally woke me up. Something came apart inside, an anger and a deep frustration finally slipped free. I finally snapped. I said to myself "FUCK THIS. I CAN'T FEEL THIS WAY ANYMORE."

Luckily, I found Caroline. I had been following her blog for a few weeks at my friend Sapna's recommendation (Caroline had spoken at her company earlier on). I clicked on her website and was immediately sucked in by the idea of loving the life I have, of beating self-doubt. I wanted that SO BADLY and I had tried everything to get it (pretty unsuccessfully). In my wildest dreams I would love my life and myself! I didn't know if it was possible for me. But what did I have to lose? 

Fast forward to today, and I am a living embodiment of everything I dreamed of. I'm happy in my body, in my life, and in myself every day. I support myself, rather than beating myself down. I am so grateful for everything I have and the life that I lead, and I often find myself gazing at my surroundings and breathing in a deep love for all that I see. I love this life. 

I worked with Caroline for about three months, after which I decided to take a break and refocus. I thanked her then, knowing that my life had been changed tremendously. But many months later, I can tell you that my life has changed even more than I expected.

Working with Caroline opened a flood-gate for me. And I believe that it only takes one powerful experience of personal growth to do the same for anyone. After I worked with Caroline, I started to develop the confidence to show up authentically in my life. I started to believe in myself and in life itself. I allowed myself to dream bigger than I ever had. And my life completely opened up.

Life stepped up to meet me. 

I began to be recognized as a thought-leader in my industry (digital marketing).

I spoke at my first conference.

I got promoted.

I started a blog.

I finally started to date around, and enjoy it.

I joined Mentor Masterclass and started chasing after a start up business idea I wouldn't have dared utter in the past.

I hosted my first event.

I went on my first retreat.

I traveled for fun and work and everything in between.

I got to hang out in a DJ booth, I met and befriended celebrities, I mingled with people who would have utterly intimidated me before.

I had THE BEST TIME EVER at Coachella.

My friend circles grew tremendously. And got ever deeper.

I moved to my favorite neighborhood with my best friend in a dream apartment.

I felt free.

in Madrid, feeling full of love and as free as i've ever felt. 

in Madrid, feeling full of love and as free as i've ever felt. 

 

All of these things were the result of opening the door to working on myself, and not stopping. After working with Caroline, I've joined classes, I've read tons of books, I've gotten deeper into meditation, I've played with EFT, I've worked with another coach (Alex, lookin at you), and I've continued to grow on this journey. I turned on the valve of curiosity and I haven't shut it since.

It only takes one small step to open the flood gate. Then life, love, and learning come rushing in and sweep you into their vast ocean, supported.

For me that step was signing up for a free session with Caroline. But for you it could be something different- it's all about finding the first thing that gets you excited, that opens your mind. And then, following it as far as it can take you.

What will it take to open yours?

x

p.s. if this resonated with you, I welcome you to sign up for a free session, or join us at one of our events!