It's magic time, don't miss this. #SUPERNEWMOONECLIPSE [Bliss and Beats #1.5]

Magic is in the air. Can you feel it?

Yesterday (3/8) was a new moon that is also a supermoon that was also taking place during a solar eclipse (that continues through 3/9).

Whoa. That's a LOT of stuff [and no, I haven't turned into an astrology nut].

Check out the latest episode of Bliss and Beats to see why I’m excited about this new moon (and the weird sign I received)!

Here are a few ways that you can take advantage of the #supernewmoonclipse and BLISS UP (we da best):

1.     RELEASE

True freedom is in letting go of those things that hold you back in life. I get so excited thinking about things to bid adieu to in my life. To start, light a candle or put on some soft music, and grab a pen and paper. Take a few deep breaths and think about what you’d like to let go of in your life. This could be a belief about yourself (for example, ‘I am not good enough’), about the world (“money is hard to come by”) or about others in your life (“my boss is never going to like me”). OR it could be something tangible you’re holding on to or allowing in your life that is no longer serving you (bye, bye shitty boyfriend!). Start with a list of at least 5. Then, do something to symbolically release these from your life. I like to cut mine into strips and burn them (safely, in the sink!), but tearing them up will do just fine.

2.     Set Intentions

Next, you’re going to want to replace the beliefs you just released with plans for the coming month(s). Think through 3-5 things you’d like to create in your life. This could again be something emotional (I want to feel grateful every day!) or tangible (I’m going to go on one good date this month). Then, write this down as an AFFIRMATION. This means to write it as if you already have it. So “I want to feel grateful every day” becomes “I express gratitude for my life every single day.” Keep this list nearby so that you can reference it over the coming month.

3.     Tie in actions

Intentions and affirmations are important because they help shift our mindset, but nothing truly changes unless you take action! So, take your list of intentions you just created and think of one action, big or small, that you can do to help bring your intention to life. This doesn’t have to be huge, it can be one small step that will help propel you into motion towards your goal. For example, my goal this month is to honor my inner power and inner voice. So one action I’m taking is to back off of dating apps and only login when I feel truly IN POWER, not in anxiety.  I ask myself “am I doing this because I want to, or because I’m feeling afraid/anxious/like I’m “supposed to?”” and proceed accordingly.

Because you guys rock, I’ve taken the above exercise and created a #BlissUp Worksheet to help you set yourself up for your best month ever. You can download it here.

If you find yourself getting stuck along the way, don’t worry! This way of thinking takes practice. AND I’m of course always here to help. Share your exercise with me or let me know where you’re getting stuck – I can’t wait to see the juicy work you’re already doing.

THE BEAT

Today’s beat is one of my favorite songs off of Anjunadeep 6, I’ve Got This Feeling by Cubicolor. This song gives me CHILLS every time… it’s hauntingly beautiful. And it’s tres appropriate because I have SERIOUSLY GOT THIS FEELING that incredible, beautiful magic is here NOW.

RESOURCES

If you want to read more about the March 8th celestial happenings, I recommend checking out this article on Mystic Mamma. Magic abound!

And if you want to learn more about MAGIC, visit my friend Bryce’s blog here.

Don't forget to grab you free #BlissUp worksheet and take advantage of these stars here!

I got ready in my bra and undies at SoulCycle.

Take off the towel.

I heard the whisper, standing in the bathroom at SoulCycle. Two women to my left, one to my right. All towels.

Take off the towel.

I looked at myself, slathering product into my hair, towel covering the flesh I am afraid to expose.

Take off the towel.

I looked myself in the eyes. For a second, I flipped open the towel. ‘This is too much’ I thought. But I felt something, I knew. Still, I threw the towel back on.

Take off the towel.

Dare to take off the towel.

Dare to feel free.

I took off the towel.

The world didn’t end. The other women didn’t look at me funny. Some walked in and out in their undies, breasts exposed. Some wore the towel. And I started to feel alive.

I looked myself in the eyes. I liked what I saw. I felt alive.

I loved my body in that moment. I did not criticize her for being bigger than this one, smaller than that one. I did not compare. I simply looked at her with appreciation.

I was no longer the girl of burgeoning shame. I did not disavow my thighs, heave my belly empty of my granola bar, mentally schedule a gym class every day next week.

I was the daring woman standing in public in my bra and underwear.

I liked what I saw. I let my body breathe. I did not hide.

I felt free, I felt free, I felt free.

Introducing Bliss and Beats aka Holy Sh*t I'm Vlogging.

Hi hi!

For a while I've been toying around with bringing the theme of my blog (Bliss and Beats) to life in a way that is a bit scarier than the occasional blog post. I wanted to push myself this year to check in more often because...

1. I feel like I have tons of useful content to share. I am a perpetual soul-seeker, so I'm constantly learning and growing by way of books, mentors, programs... you name it. I feel like every week (or really, every day) I learn something or realize something about myself and my experience that makes a difference to my quality of life. And often it's just like that - something as small as one new chapter I've read makes  a lasting difference.

2. Starting a business can be really challenging for SO MANY reasons, but for me, one of the biggest is my own paralysis. I never feel like I'm doing enough and I'm far too focused on the end goal, which feels so daunting and impossible that I find myself stuck in inaction. So, I've instead had to change my mindset and focus on just taking one small step each day. And content like this is something that is not only helpful to others (I hope!!!), but also a small, tangible way to begin reaching that big goal.

So I present to you- the first edition of Bliss and Beats!

What is Bliss and Beats, you ask? Well, this is an ongoing series of videos featuring one lesson in creating more bliss in your life (the lasting kind!) and one really dope beat [because you know I like music].

Basically, this is my attempt to combine my two passions and spill my guts to all of you on a weekly basis because I am NOT afraid to get mega vulnerable, y'all. And I WILL. Most of these are going to be about what I am working on IN THAT MOMENT.

To do this,  I'm setting a few ground rules for myself:

1. I have to do at least one every two weeks... with a goal to get up to one per week.

2. I WILL NOT spend too much time making each video perfect. That means that I can only do some rudimentary editing AT MOST. I am NOT filming it multiple times. I am using my computer or cell phone to tape. I am really not prepping beyond jotting down notes. I am letting this flow so I can get it out there rather than allowing perfection to basically bog me down and evidently not release anything. 

3. I think that's enough rules. 

But I need your help to make it great. You can help me by holding me accountable (haven't seen a video in a while? Call my "busy" ass out!) and by letting me know how the videos are working for you. If they suck, shoot me an email or write it in the comments (but email is much preferred because, privacy). If you got something out of it, let me know (all over the comments, baby). I love you guys and your help means the world.

Today's B&B is all about our fears, why we THINK they define us, and why we should bust through them. I'm sharing a story from my Costa Rica trip where I was scared shitless... and why it was one of the best things I've done so far this year. Check out the first episode of Bliss and Beats here and please, let me know what you think in the comments!

p.s. I of course did not mention the beat of the week in the video. It is the Redux version of Atmosphere by Kaskade, one of my number one favorite humans and a man who is bound to be a Bliss and Beats top contributor. You can peep that song below or on Spotify... etc.

xx

Reflections and Prayers for my Beautiful Friend Stephanie

Last week, my family and I were reflecting on how wonderful of a year it’s been, and we were right. 2015 had been good to us. 2015 was a year of important growth, change, and most importantly, ease. 2015 felt good, like the world had our backs. We would sail into 2016 on these wings of safety and joy, ready for a year of even more delight.

Until life challenges us, as it often does.

One of the highlights of my 2015 has been getting to know Stephanie. Steph and her family have been visiting Long Beach Island (where my parents have a home) for years and most recently bought a home on the same street as us. From Summer to Summer, our families have gotten to know one another and relationships have been formed. What makes Stephanie’s family unique upon first glance is that Stephanie has severe cerebral palsy. Steph can’t speak in sentences, can’t control her limbs, can’t walk… there are a litany of cant’s tied to her condition. But in place of limits, she has grown beautiful, overflowing amounts of love and kindness. Hers is the kind of love that spreads to everyone she meets.

I am ashamed to admit that it took me a bit of time to get over myself and befriend Steph. My mom was always first to run to Steph, to talk with her, to hold her hand, to tease her. Her relationship with Stephanie has always been a beautiful thing to behold, something that in a few instances I’ve found myself feeling envious of. I was so AFRAID to say the wrong thing, to not know how to just be with Steph, that I couldn’t bring myself to open up to her. I worried that there would be silences, that I would make her feel like I was under-valuing her. I feared that I didn’t have enough goodness in me.

As I mentioned, this year has been one of tremendous growth and self-understanding for me. I’ve done a lot to get over the “not good enough” syndrome that has held me back in a wide variety of situations. It’s odd to think that feeling not good enough can actually hold you back from DOING GOOD and giving your love, rather than something much less valuable like worrying about if a boy likes you. Worse- when you use “not good enough” as an excuse to not do something good, you’re only reinforcing the idea that you’re not good enough by piling on the guilt and shame of not just GOING FOR IT. For not doing the right thing. For not being the person you know in your heart you want to be, that the world is calling you to be. In my case, it was time to get vulnerable and put myself out there, and in doing so overcome this idea that I wasn’t equipped to be a friend to Steph.

From the day I decided to do more than just say “hi” to Steph, my heart began to immediately open up. Stephanie does that to you- she’s warm, funny, and kind. She likes a good laugh more than most, she absolutely is in on any and all jokes, and she appreciates a kind-hearted teasing. She has so much love to give, and while she cannot do so verbally, she finds many other ways. She loves to hold hands and hug and kiss. She creates beautiful art, she writes beautiful letters with the help of incredible technology. She is full of surprises and often spends days making beautiful gifts for those she loves. Where Stephanie’s body fails her, her mind and her heart more than pick up the pieces.

Stephanie is a gift and a teacher to anyone who gets to know her. She has so much more in her mind than appearances may dictate. She loves to dance. At our family friend Emily’s wedding, we danced together all night long. We taught her moves and by the end she was doing the hand motion to Can’t Feel My Face by The Weeknd. She loves sneaking Pina Coladas at Kubels. She likes sneaking off from her parents for the occasional hour. She loves going for walks on the beach, and I love pushing her beach chair super fast backwards down the hill. She laughs without reserve. She loves the color purple. She hates when people treat her like she’s not a person. She’s a regular thirty year old like you and I, except stronger. Kinder. And more loving. She’s taught me the importance of loving people deeply, openly, fully and wildly. She’s a good luck charm- everywhere she goes, people do things for her. How could you not? She’s infectious.

Steph is in the hospital this week with pneumonia. She’s struggling, and worse, she’s lost her memory. She cannot remember her parents or her large tribe of friends and family who love her dearly. I’m asking you to please keep her in your prayers, intentions, thoughts of love, or whatever goodness you send out into the world. She’s a beautiful soul who deserves everything good in life. She deserves her memories, her mind, and her FULL life.

Please send her love and good vibes and juju and prayers for healing.

Stephanie, I love you to the moon and back. I’m pulling for you. Love, Katie

Take one step and open the floodgate [revisiting my first coach]

Yesterday, I was lucky to have breakfast with my very first life coach, the lovely Caroline Zwickson. This was special to me for so many reasons: I got to meet her new son Felix, we caught up on life and our coaching pursuits, and we had delicious food. But more than that, this simple breakfast brought up a huge realization about our own paths to personal growth that I'm really eager to share.

Caroline and I worked together about a year and a half ago. I had just returned from Coachella, my favorite music festival and one of my favorite weekends of the year (generally). But that year, I had struggled through it. I was still reeling from a sucker-punch of a breakup that had taken the wind out of my sails and made me question everything about myself and my life. I had spent the festival in a cloud of anxiety and self-doubt, thinking about him and telling myself he was having a better time there without me. I found myself waking up in tears, and while I did my best to snap out of it, I couldn't truly enjoy the moment. I was surrounded by revelry and joy, and the best of the best in music, but all I could hear was that nagging, mean bitch of a voice in my head.

Why aren't you having fun? What's wrong with you?

You're not pretty or skinny enough to be here. Look at the other women around you. They're celebrated here, you're not.

{EX} doesn't want to be here with you anyway. You'll be alone forever.

You'll never be truly happy. You'll always hold yourself back. You'll never be free.

I'm not sure about you, but when my inner critic gets going, she's vicious. And at the time, I didn't know any better than to follow her every command and order, to believe that she was ME, that I was JUST THAT MEAN to myself, and that she was right. So, I followed her into the dark spiral. 

The beauty of the dark spiral is that dropping down into it finally woke me up. Something came apart inside, an anger and a deep frustration finally slipped free. I finally snapped. I said to myself "FUCK THIS. I CAN'T FEEL THIS WAY ANYMORE."

Luckily, I found Caroline. I had been following her blog for a few weeks at my friend Sapna's recommendation (Caroline had spoken at her company earlier on). I clicked on her website and was immediately sucked in by the idea of loving the life I have, of beating self-doubt. I wanted that SO BADLY and I had tried everything to get it (pretty unsuccessfully). In my wildest dreams I would love my life and myself! I didn't know if it was possible for me. But what did I have to lose? 

Fast forward to today, and I am a living embodiment of everything I dreamed of. I'm happy in my body, in my life, and in myself every day. I support myself, rather than beating myself down. I am so grateful for everything I have and the life that I lead, and I often find myself gazing at my surroundings and breathing in a deep love for all that I see. I love this life. 

I worked with Caroline for about three months, after which I decided to take a break and refocus. I thanked her then, knowing that my life had been changed tremendously. But many months later, I can tell you that my life has changed even more than I expected.

Working with Caroline opened a flood-gate for me. And I believe that it only takes one powerful experience of personal growth to do the same for anyone. After I worked with Caroline, I started to develop the confidence to show up authentically in my life. I started to believe in myself and in life itself. I allowed myself to dream bigger than I ever had. And my life completely opened up.

Life stepped up to meet me. 

I began to be recognized as a thought-leader in my industry (digital marketing).

I spoke at my first conference.

I got promoted.

I started a blog.

I finally started to date around, and enjoy it.

I joined Mentor Masterclass and started chasing after a start up business idea I wouldn't have dared utter in the past.

I hosted my first event.

I went on my first retreat.

I traveled for fun and work and everything in between.

I got to hang out in a DJ booth, I met and befriended celebrities, I mingled with people who would have utterly intimidated me before.

I had THE BEST TIME EVER at Coachella.

My friend circles grew tremendously. And got ever deeper.

I moved to my favorite neighborhood with my best friend in a dream apartment.

I felt free.

in Madrid, feeling full of love and as free as i've ever felt. 

All of these things were the result of opening the door to working on myself, and not stopping. After working with Caroline, I've joined classes, I've read tons of books, I've gotten deeper into meditation, I've played with EFT, I've worked with another coach (Alex, lookin at you), and I've continued to grow on this journey. I turned on the valve of curiosity and I haven't shut it since.

It only takes one small step to open the flood gate. Then life, love, and learning come rushing in and sweep you into their vast ocean, supported.

For me that step was signing up for a free session with Caroline. But for you it could be something different- it's all about finding the first thing that gets you excited, that opens your mind. And then, following it as far as it can take you.

What will it take to open yours?

x

p.s. if this resonated with you, I welcome you to sign up for a free session, or join us at one of our events!

What I'm Listening To: Anjunadeep 07

If you follow this blog at all, you know that I am a HUGE fan of anything that Above & Beyond touches, most specifically these days anything off of Anjunadeep. The label's deeper artists released their latest compilation TODAY mixed by the premier Anjunadeep djs, Jody Wisternoff and James Grant. 

I love Anjunadeep because it's always beautifully haunting, melodic, and always strikes the right emotional notes. I also adore the way Wisternoff and Grant mix everything together seamlessly, taking us on an ethereal journey. 

Enjoy Anjunadeep 07! xx

I'm hosting a coaching event!

OMG, I'M HOSTING A COACHING EVENT!

This is so scary. And awesome. And scary.

Hi guys-

I'm so excited to share that the first ever YES! coaching event is HAPPENING!
It took a lot to get here... so let me backtrack.

About two years ago, I had a life changing realization. I always been really tough on myself-- putting myself down, following the negative voice in my head, doubting my abilities. For years, I sought to boost my self-worth by measuring myself based on how many exciting plans I had in the future, how many friends I had, how skinny I could be, or how well I could do at work. I thought that this was just par for the course for Type A perfectionists. I thought there would always be something 'wrong' with me.

I tried lots of different things to 'fix' myself: therapy, nutrition counseling, medication, meditation, devouring books. And nothing really stuck in a meaningful way until I started working with my first life coach. If you're anything like I was then, you're thinking to yourself "what the $#%^ is life coaching?" 

Which is why I'm writing today. Coaching changed my life in the most positive of ways, and it was very unexpected. I had no idea what coaching was or how to take part in it. I'm lucky to have had a soul-seeking bestie introduce me to my first coach, Caroline. And I'm incredibly lucky to have parents who helped me to pay for the 'pricey for a twenty-something in NYC' sessions. Today, I'm a person who truly loves and believes in herself, who supports herself fully. I don't believe I'd have made such major shifts without coaching.

It's my mission to help change the paradigm about coaching: to make it more known, accessible, and affordable for anyone looking to up their game in life.  I'm enrolled in a coaching training program called Mentor Masterclass, led by the wonderful Jeannine Yoder. My ultimate vision is to create a coaching model where people like you and I can drop in, without paying hundreds of dollars, and leave changed. And I'm calling it YES!.

My current coach and business cheerleader Alex Kip (he's also co-host of one of my favorite Podcasts!) has agreed to help me as we start to test what a drop in version of coaching could look like. So for our first event, Alex will be doing the coaching and believe me, it will be magical. He's a master of Tony Robbins-ian coaching, aka he will totally change the way you think. Consider this event a Beta Test, except one that will be super amazing and leave you feeling more in touch with yourself and ready to take on what it is you want out of life.
 

The first ever YES! coaching collective is happening!
Thursday, September 10th at 8p
The Caledonia (17th and 10th in Chelsea, NYC) (thanks Joe!)
Group coaching by Alex, happiness, and jams!
 

RSVP and more details can be found on our site, and please feel free to email me if you have questions!

It is with an open heart that I share this with you, and hope that you'll appreciate my spamming of your inbox. If my story resonates with you and you want to learn more, by all means, let's chat! I would love it. And if you're in NYC, I'd love to have you there. I believe it will be a really special evening, and the start of something awesome.

In the words of that one wrestler.... YES! YES! YES!

Much love,

Katie

p.s. I'm doing some free one-on-one intro coaching sessions. If you're interested, shoot me an email! 

p.p.s. Need a promo code for our event? Lemme know!

Excuse me, I have a declaration to make.

I'm sitting here, reeling a bit from a silly conversation I just had with the person I still hold onto after almost two years of being apart. Reeling because I realized AGAIN in the most played out deja vu of all time that I'm pretty sure he's not going to change, and that our values aren't going to align, and that he's not going to understand what it takes to be with me these days. 

But more importantly, I've realized that it's time to break this pattern of pity, self-doubt, and the idea that I'm not deserving.

So today, before you, oh blog community, I'm making a declaration. Not an affirmation, not a wish, but a true declaration. If I could chisel it into stone, I would. I would shout it from a mountain top as long as it would echo into eternity.

This is it.

The jig is up, universe/limiting beliefs/astrology/other bullshit things that I believe are getting in the way of allowing in love.

I DECLARE THAT I WILL BE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BY MY BIRTHDAY.

I deserve love. I deserve a loving partner, who wants to be with me each and every day and believes that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. And who I feel the same way about it. I'm a good person, I have done the work, I'm a catch. I deserve big. love.

And it's gonna be motherfucking awesome.

I surrender. God/universe, bring me what I'm asking. In the words of Gabby, bring me a miracle.

Here goes nothing.... <3

Gabby Bernstein: May Cause MEGA LADY CRUSH

If you ever have the opportunity to see Gabby Bernstein speak in person, do it. Tonight, I attended Gabby's Miracles Now Workshop in the beautiful Deepak Chopra space at ABC Carpet and Home. Setting aside the sensory overload that is ABC Carpet and Home (the most beautiful store I've seen- it's a grown-up and crazy chic Anthropologie), the workshop was truly a magical experience.

Instagram photo by Gabrielle Bernstein * Jun 25, 2015 at 2:12am UTC

See this Instagram photo by @gabbybernstein * 1,243 likes

Gabby was different in person than I imagined - better. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I've read a few of her books, and while they're amazing, I've found she can come off as either too high priestess or too LA trendster. Gabby is neither and both at once- she pulls off a flawless mix of cool, relatable, and deeply wise. She's the best friend you've always wanted and the guru you'd quote religiously. She is, in a word, perfection.

One of the things that impressed me most about Gabby was her warmth and rapport. She spent a good portion of the workshop doing Q&A;  her ability to connect to each and every woman on a real one-on-one, playful way was a sight to behold. By the end, the room felt like a group of girlfriends at a sleepover sharing our deepest fears, with Momma Gab to wrap us in a warm embrace and share Oprah parables in the form of quotes from A Course in Miracles. Gabby radiates love in every direction when she is on the stage, and her tribe feels it.

The rest of the workshop was a mix of her favorite tools from A Course in Miracles and a few different meditations. I loved the first meditation to Michael the archangel, who is incidentally one of my favorite angels in Catholicism- I'm happy to carry him forward on my new spiritual path. The closing meditation was powerful and cool, but the position was rough- holding your arms up at a 60 degree angle for minutes on end means I was spending a lot more time thinking about how much pain I was in than imagining a fire in my heart. But I'd gladly give it a go again.

My favorite nuggets of knowledge from Gabby were the most obvious- the truths we've heard told time and time again, the main principles of A Course and of all of Gabby's books. The things that are so simple, they're easy to leave behind in your quest for self-actualization. I think she said it best when she spoke about choosing to believe in Miracles now. Not when you've cleared out every bad memory and feeling and limiting belief. Now. It's so easy to forget that you have the power today, in this moment, when you're constantly working on yourself with new tools. There is no need to wait. You do not need to be perfect. You simply need to surrender to love.

A few of my favorite one-liners:

"I am responsible for what I see."

"I am willing to see this with love."

"Intentions grow when they are shared."

"Recognize the other person is you- what you are seeing is your own light or darkness being reflected back to you."

"If you're feeling helpless, help someone."

"Let the muscles rest so they can form."

"Stop looking for your purpose-- your purpose will find you."

And for me, the most powerful of all:

Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. 

How incredible an outlook on life: to choose to feel certain that the outcome is coming to you and to be free to live your life as is, knowing it will come to you. This is certainly a lesson to apply to life in so many ways- for me, when it comes to dating and wanting to find love or to wanting to start my own business, for example. Believe it is yours, release, and be free.

xx

p.s. I bought the Miracles Now card deck and I am in love. It's gorgeous!

miraclesnowblog

Go home, YouTube. You're Drunk.

So you're feeling self conscious about how you look in that YouTube video you had to do for work? Me too. Never fear, here is a sure-fire way to break that pattern and laugh. A lot. Just turn on YouTube Closed Captioning.

Those guys are not great at their jobs. See below:

This probably also works while watching other people's YouTube videos if you need a good laugh.

x

Bliss Beats: Marina and the Diamonds

I'm back from Coachella and back to blogging! So, look forward to quite a bit more about my experience this year (spoiler: it was awesome) and the music I loved. One of my favorite acts this year was Marina and the Diamonds. Miss Diamandis released her sophomore album FROOT in March, and it might be one of my favorites on the entire year. The album spans the gamit of fun, poppy dance tunes (the album's title track, Blue) to haunting, beautiful, soulful ballads (Forget, I'm a Ruin). But my favorite track on the album is the simply brilliant, aptly titled "Happy."

With Happy, Marina has created a self-love anthem, spreading an important message about finding happiness within in a beautifully resonant way. Every time I listen to the song, I feel like Marina is looking directly into my soul and projecting some of the deepest learnings of my life. She taps into what makes an amazing song: it touches an insight, it strikes a chord, it puts you in touch with feelings you may not even know you have.

I found what I'd been looking for in myself Found a life worth living for someone else Never thought that I could be, I could be Happy, happy.

Check out the album on spotify.

x

Why you should share your story right now!

We all have dreams. Dreams that we would love to see come true in our lifetimes, but have no idea where to begin. Desires that burn in us so deeply, we just wish they'd happen already. Desires aren't just normal, they're a healthy part of human existence. They help us move forward to where we want to go. They connect us to who we are, to who we are meant to be and to our greatest purpose in life. Desires = our ultimate destiny. They enforce big, important shifts.

The problem with dreams and desires is that they're often accompanied by fear. We're afraid that we won't be good enough to achieve our dreams. We don't know where to begin. We're afraid that if we fail, we'll be ridiculed. We're scared that our desires may change over time.

And so, we keep them to ourselves.

We lock our dreams in our heads and hearts. We tell ourselves to aim lower. We silence our creativity.

But holding back on your dreams is one of the worst things that you can do in this life. Dreams don't go away... they grow into regret.

I recently took a leap of faith. I have a dream to one day start a business that will bring women and girls on the journey to self love that I myself completed. I want to make this more accessible, acceptable, and sought-out. And I've started verbalizing this dream as much as I possibly can.

Here's why I think that EVERYONE should stop what they're doing and start shouting out their dreams RIGHT NOW.

1. The more you share you dream, the more likely it is to come true.

Manifestation 101- if you put it out in the universe, the universe works with you to make it happen. So don't stop sharing what you want. Keep putting it out there, share your passion. The more energy and emphasis, the better. The world WANTS you to achieve your desires, guys! Let it work for you.

2. The amount of people who will rally to help you achieve your dream will astound you.

A few weeks ago I made the decision to invest in Mentor Masterclass as a first step to making my dream a reality. When I was first considering the class, it felt so "alternative" to me, nothing like the straight and narrow college to career path that I had taken my entire life. I was worried that I would be rejected for wanting to pursue this, that my family and friends would think I was off my rocker. I have been amazed that this couldn't be further from the truth. Since I decided I wanted to take the class, I've found the most amazing of support from family, friends and acquaintances. I've had ex boyfriends, co-workers and Facebook friends volunteer to help or just share support. And most amazingly, my parents reacted in the exact opposite way I thought they would. They didn't look at me like I was nuts, they didn't try to talk me out of staying on the rational path. They supported me wholeheartedly. They smiled wide at the idea and they told me to go for it. They're holding my hand through the process. The only person who thought that I was being crazy for wanting to do this was me. Support is all around.

3. More and more opportunities that will move you forward will arise.

Like attracts like. So, the more you make your desire into something tangible, a goal that you're actually working towards, the more the path to achieving that desire will unfold. Tell one friend about your dream and bam! she knows of a class to help. Tell another and wam! he knows the perfect person to network with. And, verbalizing your desires helps to crystalize the resources that you'll need to make it happen. The more you work through this, the more the path will naturally come to you.

4. You'll realize you've had the power all along.

Nothing hurts us more than keeping our desires to ourselves. We hold back our creative voice, we tell ourselves that we're not good enough to do what we truly want, we validate that negative voice in our heads that's held us back for so long. In truth, the only person who can make your dreams happen is YOU. And 99% of that struggle is mental. If you believe you can do it, you will. This applies to absolutely everything in life. The sooner that you can learn to believe in yourself no matter what, no matter how big the dream, the sooner you will blossom into the life of your dreams.

5. You'll master one of the most valuable life skills: how to sit in vulnerability.

Vulnerability. For many of us, we go to great lengths to avoid it. But as Brene Brown (one of my favorite human beings) teaches, vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation and change. Vulnerability brings our true selves into the open. And when we allow ourselves to be seen deeply, wholeheartedly, we call in love and joy. By showing yourself (all of yourself!) as you are, you're inspiring meaningful change in your life.

What is one of your biggest dreams for your life? Tell me in the comments below and let the magic begin!

xx

Join me at #GlobeWanders this Friday!

Think about your favorite night out in a city you were visiting for the first time. For me, the excitement of traveling always elevates the experience- the new musical influences, meeting people who are interesting and like-minded in their wanderlust, and of course, doing something new. Now imagine you could have that experience in NYC, in winter.

This Friday (Jan 23rd), #Globewanders is bringing the experience of music and travel together for a night of fun at the Hudson Hotel in NYC. The event is designed to bring together innovators and appreciators of world travel + world dance music + world culture to boogie to global dance beats and tropical bass spun by DJ Geko Jones of the wildly popular Que Bajo?! parties in NYC. Also on the bill: dance collective Cadny.org, and some of their capoeira dancers will be out and about on the dance floor to keep the party moving.

In other words, your Friday night is officially exotic. Which is tough to come by in January.

To sum up:

#GLOBEWANDERS

NYC's Hudson Hotel Half & Half Arcade & Dance hall

7:30pm to 11pm, 21+ only

Free with RSVP subject to venue capacity.

For more information and to rsvp, visit www.globewanders.com.

P.S. The event has also teamed up with 20 innovative co-sponsors in travel and music including Dubspot, Mi Casa Holiday, #NMDN Alternative travel conference, Turntable Lab, Journy, Sparkplug, NY MusicTech, Travel 2.0, Travel Massive NYC, and Fantrotter.

See you there!

x

Healthy Eats & Getting Over my Food Fears

I'm gonna get real about my relationship with food for a minute. Today, food and I are lovers and friends. But it wasn't always this way. In college, I really struggled with eating. This manifested itself in an incredibly restrictive diet, ocd amounts of exercise, and a short but real bout with bulimia. Which was really, really not okay. And hard to get over. But with lots of work and honesty and resources, I got through it. I realized I had a problem, and that I didn't want to feel uncomfortable and anxious and gross and unhappy with my body all the time. I wanted to change, I went on a journey, and eventually I did. It all came down to not feeling good about myself, and wanting to control my personal perceptions of "good enough" by being the skinniest person in the room or at least feeling "in control" of my weight. Not quite the best way to define your self worth (UNDERSTATEMENT).

Seven years later, I'm so, so grateful to be in a much healthier and more balanced place in my life. I never thought I'd say this, but I rarely struggle with eating fears anymore, though body image issues still creep every once in a while.

I feel better than I ever have in my own skin, I exercise in moderation, and I eat basically whatever I want (though I try to be pretty healthy most of the time).

Which leads me to today's post on incorporating more nourishing foods into my diet.

How are these things connected?

In college, I was incredibly restrictive when it came to food. I was all about low fat, low calorie. I started using only skim milk, I thought lean cuisines and diet coke were the jam, and I would inhale cereal and baked lays or 100 calorie packs of shitty snacks like it was my job. If it was low-cal, it was a-ok. I had brain-washed myself in a big way.

I knew that what I was eating was pretty empty food, but at the time I thought that it was what I was supposed to be doing. My friends were eating similarly, low cal/no cal was still all the rage, and I didn't really care as much about my health as I cared about being thin. The result was a really terrible way to live.

Over the following years, I basically had to let go of my food obsession and learn to allow myself the freedom to make choices and eat real food again. I had to ward off of all restrictions. I worked with a nutritionist to learn which foods were healthy and nourishing and which weren't, but I found that what worked for me at the time was not overly obsessing about any one thing. I had to learn to let go of food habits and rituals and crazy planning and dieting. And I did it.

The only thing that continued to nag at me was that as a result, I became afraid of making any major changes to my diet. I was afraid to do anything that could translate itself in restriction, comparison, and ultimately spiral back into fear.

This year I've been working really hard on body image, thanks to some amazing guidance and tools provided by Caroline, and I feel the strongest I ever have. Not only that, I have started to really crave nourishing foods and to crave kicking chemicals, etc. I've started to make some small, healthy tweaks to my diet that are not limiting, but rather things to add in or swap in when I feel like it. I'm in no way restricting, and still letting myself eat whatever I feel like.

Instead, I really feel like I'm listening to my body and what it wants to thrive.

Here are a few of the things I'm working on incorporating or eliminating:

• Cutting out caffeine- Caffeine was a really tough one for me. For years I've had a HUGE coffee or two in the morning at work, and felt like I couldn't get to lunch without it. Then, I'd have one or two diet cokes. Now, I have a tea in the morning, sometimes with a small bit of caffeine, and no more diet cokes. It was super tough at first, but I feel so much less anxiety and more alive. It feels great to shake that dependence.

• 

  Adding in more greens- whether through adding in spinach when I'm making dinner or throwing some kale into a smoothie, I'm trying to get in as many new greens as possible.

• Finding more nourishing breakfasts- I'm a fan of cereal, but it may be the least nutritious meal out there. I wanted to find an option that actually made me feel like I was fueling my body. Lately I've been turning to gluten-free oatmeal with chia seeds, cinnamon, and some fruit. Today, I made my first mason jar steel cut oats.
• Swapping in brown rice or quinoa pasta- Italian cooking is huge in my family and I'm no exception. I've been doing whole grain pasta for a while, but recently was turned on to the idea of cutting out unnecessary gluten by trying alternative pasta types. Turns out, they're just as good! And they make me feel better.
• Whole Milk- this is a really tough one for me as it's been ingrained in my mind that skim milk is the only way to go if you want to be fit. But, since I've been eating healthier breakfasts, I have been using less milk and trying to just put a bit of whole milk in to cut down on hormones and processing. So far, so good.

For me, it's all about small, simple changes and moderation. I'll still have plenty of days where I eat regular pasta, or have cereal for breakfast because I feel like it. But I feel great knowing the foods that I'm choosing are contributing to my well being in a big way.

And it feels amazing to have kicked such a big food fear in my life.

x

P.S. it's tough for me to talk about my past eating disorder, but it's also incredibly important to me to be honest, vulnerable and to own my story. If you or someone you know is looking for help, here are a few incredible resources that helped me:

• Life Without Ed- an amazing book that is eye-opening if you're in the midst of or recovering from an eating problem.
• Mary Dye- a wonderful and caring nutritionist in the city
• Erin Cohen- A counselor and great listener, whose support helped me to work through a lot of my early 20s anxiety.

Grandma Lo Lo's Meatballs & Sauce

All of my life I've been fortunate to be served delicious, home cooked italian food almost every time we have a family meal. Most of our "recipes" have been passed from generation to generation for so long that the recipes don't really exist. And I've grown so used to having tons of pasta sauce around ("gravy," as my Grandma Lo Lo called it), that I've never had to make it for myself. While I was home for the holidays this year, I decided to make our old standbys with my mom's help, and cobble together as much of a written recipe as I could. I'm excited to make these at home and to continue the tradition of passing on our own brand of pasta with meatballs.

P.S. My favorite way to enjoy is by combining into a nice baked ziti, which I will also have to put a recipe up for one day soon.

Mom's Meatballs

Ingredients:

2 lbs meatball mix (ground beef & veal mix)

1 cup breadcrumbs

2 eggs

Chopped Onions (generous)

Parmesan Cheese (generous)

Oregano (generous)

Basil

Garlic (about 2 tbsp)

Pepper

Salt (a dash)

Directions:

1. Mix all ingredients together, usually hand mixing is best.
2. Add small amounts of water and continue to knead the mixture. Meat should be "fluffy," but not runny.
3. Ball the meatballs and put on baking sheet.
4. Bake at 350 degrees until starting to brown.
5. Add to sauce and allow to cook with sauce for another 1.5 hours.

Grandma Lo Lo's Gravy

2 cans peeled tomatoes

2 cans pureed tomatoes

Chopped Onion

Garlic

Basil

Pepper

Oregano

Parmesan

Salt (a dash)

Directions:

1. Blend peeled tomatoes in blender until smooth.
2. Add cans of tomato puree to pot. Add a bit of water to each can and pour into pot.
3. Add all remaining ingredients.
4. Add meat (browned sausage or meatballs) if desired.
5. Simmer on low for 1.5 hours

Crafting a new definition of beauty

One thing I've come to learn in all of my soul searching over the past year or so is that comparison to others is a quick way to ruin your own life. For me, I've struggled most with comparison when it comes to my appearance. Our culture is the most connected and consumptive of its kind, and because of this, we're constantly inundated with visuals of society's idea of the perfect woman. And, she feels more accessible than ever thanks mostly to social media. We've created a very narrow box for what beauty can mean in our society, and most of us don't quite fit the bill.  There is nothing wrong with this type of beauty, however there is everything wrong with rejecting other types of beauty in favor of this particular mold. It breeds a comparison culture, and a culture of self-hatred and shame. We spend hours upon hours each day working to achieve an ideal that we may never reach, berating what makes us different, and putting ourselves down. At least, I know that I have, and sometimes still do.

I'm ready to break free of the need to compare myself to others. I'm ready to kick any and all body image garbage to the curb.

Caroline suggested that I take some time to re-write what I've told myself for years is beautiful, mostly influenced by my ideas of what society thinks is beauty. So, I'm writing a new 'manifesto' for what beauty really means to me.

Here we go.

The Blissed-Up Beauty Manifesto

Beauty is not just a symmetrical face, free of lines and wrinkles, an unobtrusive nose, a pinned back pair of ears, a slightly defined but not too defined chin, and eyes that are perfectly shaped with lashes that flap like fans.

It is a contagious smile, an inner light that shines out for others to see in the glimmer of an eye. It's creases and laugh lines and sun burn, the things that we gain from the experiences we have. It's the differences that make us who we are: our grandmother's noses, our father's lips, our mother's cheek bones.

Beauty is not just a perfectly sculpted body, all jagged and angles and bones, with long legs and a size zero waist, a flat stomach, and just enough muscle definition without appearing bulky.

It's a body that shows up with confidence, wherever it goes. It's a softness and warmth, smooth lines rather than angular, inviting to the touch. The kind of softness that implies youth even when youth is gone. It's well cared for and loved. Beauty is a body that is miraculous and strong- it does things both great and small to propel us forward in life, to help us to fulfill our greatest desires and to help others, too. It is the fact that our bodies are ever adapting and changing to meet our needs, our greatest champion and supporter. That our body works as life's vehicle for our dreams and our destiny.

Beauty is a feeling. It's an aura of self-love, a look directly into the eye. It's a proud display of the inner soul and the outer being, a welcoming gesture, an inviting posture. It's a glow that you can feel, an energy that pulls you in. It's kindness, it's joy, it's connection. It's in our propensity to show up and honor ourselves and those around us.

Beauty is in our uniqueness, the little things that one day will be irreplaceable to someone else but for today are yours and yours alone.

Beauty exists in all of us, and once we learn to celebrate what's beautiful about ourselves instead of criticizing what we think needs to change, that beauty will radiate for all to see.

Truth: via Emily McDowell

I love Emily McDowell's inspirational prints. They're so insightful, true, and beautiful. This one is a new favorite.

In the wake of the UVA, Rolling Stone scandal

Like most UVA students and alumni, I read Rolling Stone's account of an alleged gang rape, a misogynistic campus culture, and a lack of justice with horror. I loved my time at UVA and still very much love the University as a whole. But the article was troubling, and for the first time, I felt ashamed of dear old UVA. Not because as an institution it stands alone in its decision to inadequately handle rape cases, but because UVA is a place that is supposed to be BETTER. We have a honor code, after all! But, I must admit, though I felt a lot of shock and horror reading this brutal account of sexual assault, I wasn't all that surprised. Unfortunately, this account was conceivable to me, and it still is. In the weeks that have followed this account, things have taken a turn from terrifying and sad to sceptical, sensational, and downright damaging. What was initially a step in the right direction, forcing meaningful discussion at UVA and elsewhere about campus policies concerning rape, has now turned into a battle of he-said, she-said, a smearing of credibility.

This week, after a Washington Post article set out to refute many of the claims made by "Jackie," the victim in Rolling Stone's story, Rolling Stone did the worst thing that they could have done: they balked. They accepted the discrepancies provided by Phi Psi as truth, they shunned their piece, and they shunned Jackie's account as a whole. Instead of taking blame, they blamed Jackie, saying "...we have come to the conclusion that our trust in her was misplaced." And, a positive discussion about steps needed to make change across campuses regarding rape has turned into mud slinging, calls for retribution, and a backwards discussion about journalistic integrity. Worse still, Rolling Stone's thoughtless decision to write off the story and brand Jackie as a liar in effect reverses any of the positive impact of the first story, now bringing more light onto stereotypes that rape victims are not to be trusted. Women who were once afraid to tell their stories will now be even more hesitant, lest they be branded a sham by not just their communities but by mass media and the public at large.

What's shocking to me is how quick the community at large has been to throw stones, in many cases at the wrong individuals.

Against Jackie. A brave victim, or a woman who cried wolf (though likely, somewhere in-between - a traumatized individual). Regardless of whether or not her story was entirely accurate, the issue remains. Hers is not the only tale of campus rape that would send us into uproar. The article's intentions were sound.

In support of Phi Psi. I would like to preface that I am absolutely pro-fraternity. I was a member of the greek system at UVA, I attended many a frat party without harm, and I would hate to see UVA or any other university lose these institutions. But, taking the word of a Phi Psi lawyer as the ultimate truth is foolish at best. And in the end, this isn't about fraternities. It isn't about Phi Psi. It is about the poor choices some individuals make, the crimes they commit against others, and the improper handling these victims receive. It is about the fear victims have to face, the injustice of their attackers walking free, and the sheer insanity of Universities turning a blind eye to these crimes. Is it fair that Phi Psi has been slandered, that names are circulating the internet unfairly? Of course not. Which is why the continued focus on this one fraternity and this one story must stop.

Against those who "fell for" the story. Sign into twitter or read the comments on any of these articles, and you'll see a collection of trolls doing their "how do you feel now that you were wrong to believe a rape victim's story?" song and dance. I myself have been receiving a handful of tweets to this effect, and I have to ask: why? Are these people so entrenched in the need for skepticism that they cannot accept that there are often grey areas in issues that matter? Are they so pro-fraternity that they cannot stand that one frat's name has been slandered? Are their intentions so deeply misplaced that they cannot see they too are fully propagating the idea that rape victims shouldn't be taken seriously, that they should bear the burden of proof,that women lie about being raped for attention?

For me, after reading Rolling Stone's apology letter, the only thing that has changed is that I feel anger towards the publication. The issue still persists, the changes that will come in the article's wake are still necessary, and I don't doubt that something like Jackie's story happened on grounds.

I also continue to applaud the many men and women who are using this to continue to speak openly, bravely about these issues. In the wake of both the initial article and the apology, an incredible amount of honest first-hand accounts and thoughtful opinion pieces continue to speak to what's important here, and what can be done, rather than slinging mud.

I encourage you to read, retweet, and support these pieces, and continue the dialogue towards change.

Laci Green's intelligent analysis on the inconsistencies presented.

Jessica Longo's brave story and thoughtful take on the way forward.

Hannah Rosin's piece on Slate.com -- her focus on the wrongs done by Rolling Stone.

Wonkette's snarky, in your face op-ed about how we're focusing on all the wrong things.

Battling Impatience & Building Self-Trust

I received this email this morning from the lovely Jamie Greenwood, and it really speaks to a theme that I'm finding myself facing at the moment. She wrote:

“Just tell me!”, I pleaded.

“I can’t, my love.  There’s no more thinking to be done,” she said.

“No really,” I begged. “There must be a structure, an outline, a plan to follow. Others have come before. There must be a right way!”

“Yes,” she said, “Others have. And the “rightness” of their path, as with each, is personal. Not universal.

“You must venture out. Test. Play. Slow. Sprint. Feel. Open. Pray to the heavens fall to the ground come up with nothing and go again, until the foundation under your feet firms until the light rims the clouds as bright, golden thread, until you weep and laugh, together, for nothing and everything, until the voice, your divine voice, rises from the shelter behind your sternum, golden itself to say, ‘I’ve been waiting for you. Take my hand, my dear, and we’ll travel together the rest of the way.’

“And when will THAT happen?” I pressed.

“When you trust,” she said.

I think we all know that feeling: the challenge of WAITING for the thing you most desire to happen to you. Whether it seems that life keeps putting mountains in the way of achieving it, or you just feel like you lack control, it can be one of the most uncomfortable experiences life throws at us.

Most of my adult life has felt like an endless waiting room in line for my own personal 'white whale': the love of my life. And as time goes on, it's easy to replace what was once hopefuly exuberance with fear and impatience. I'm fearful of never finding the deep, lasting love I crave.  I’m afraid if I don’t, my life will be perceived as a failure- by myself, and by my peers. I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough, doing too much, and am generally unable to move myself forward.

In that fear, I feel powerless and volatile, easily thrown back and forth from faith to fear by external circumstances.

But despite my struggles with patience, I'm beginning to realize that it isn't giving up or losing. It's trusting in grace.

Last week I went to see an astrologer with co-workers, an outing that we had planned for "fun." The two women who went with me are both solidified in deep, close-to-married relationships with their partners, and their chart readings matched up to that quite neatly. Mine, however, felt like a setback. The astrologer opened my charts and immediately asked me if I was single. After a series of concerned clucks, she mentioned that my "7th house of relationships" is plagued by Uranus until 2018, meaning that I will essentially not find a committed love until then. "I used to curse and curse and curse Uranus," she cried. "but, better than to start a marriage that will end in divorce." She encouraged me to work on myself (umm... haven't I been doing that already?), and to watch out for people who aren't who they say they are. Great.

To say this news wasn't thrilling is obvious.

I felt at once both vindicated (ah, so this is why my ex wouldn't commit!) and terrified (I have to wait four years to meet the one?! I'll be 31!). My trust in the universe shattered.

I felt myself on the verge of complete panic at times. The universe was CONSPIRING to keep me from finding a mate until 2018. I was a victim! It wasn't fair. How could I survive in "unconventional" relationships, or worse, ALONE, for four more years?!

Then I realized... I have a choice. Well, two choices in this case.

1. I can choose my beliefs. 

I can choose to believe the astrologer's unhappy news. I can choose to believe that I am powerless to the universe. I can choose to be completely and utterly afraid that the next four years of my life are going to be difficult in love.

OR- I can have faith. I can believe in my own personal power, and the power of the universe to support me in my intentions.  I can go inward rather than defining my belief system by what others say.

2. I can let patience flow through faith and grace.

I can fight against my own impatience and continue to berate myself for not finding love yet.

OR- I can trust that love is coming, and find pleasure in the patience. I can let go of fear and worry that I'm not deserving of amazing love as I am. I can love myself fully and commit to the belief that a wonderful and loving relationship is coming to me, guaranteed.

It's EASY to believe in what other's tell you. 

It's BRAVE to choose to believe in your story and to put trust and faith in yourself.

So today, I choose not to believe in what the astrologist said.

I choose to believe in love.

I choose to have faith.

I choose to trust in me, and in a higher power that leads me to bliss each day.

Not in some limitations imposed by my birth coordinates and planetary... stuff. Not fear of the unknown. And certainly not fear of what others want me to believe.

I trust that when it happens, whether in one year or four or ten, it will have been for a real, true, and positive reason. It will be part of the perfect path of my life.

x