The Law of #FuckYes

I'm absolutely in love with Mark Manson's recent post on The Law of Fuck Yes. It's something I wish I had put into practice much, much sooner. But here we are. via

The Law of #FUCKYES simply states that you shouldn't waste your time on anyone where a mutual fuck yes is not present. The keyword here is mutual. We all deserve lives of great passion and fulfillment, and if fuck yes is not present on either side, we lose. We're destined for hardship, for struggle, for not living up to our full potential. For missing out on real happiness. For constantly wondering why we're not good enough for the BEST THINGS life has to offer.

But living to the law of fuck yes isn't always easy. Our ego gets in the way. Love can blind us. We turn to excuses.

Mark starts with a simple, but powerful statement: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?

Unfortunately, this is a question I know all too well.

For almost a year, I was in a relationship that was an absolute FUCK YES for me, and a very timid, whisper of a yes for him. The timid yes eventually turned into a heart-breaking "I can't." Should I have waited as I did for months hoping that the whisper would turn into a resounding full-on, everything in all caps with tons of emojis and exclamation marks statement? Today, I say no. Today I set boundaries because I believe, truly believe, I deserve better. But back then, I didn't. Back then, I waited.

It's easy to hold on to hope that someone will change. And sometimes, they do. But holding on to a no, maybe, or timid yes is not something that anyone should do. Ever. Don't wait for someone to suddenly realize you're awesome, or to suddenly feel a fuck yes for someone you're not that into. Instead, choose to move on. Choose to love and honor yourself, to pursue big happiness. Look for other fuck-yes's in your life, like your relationship with yourself, your job, your friends, or your favorite hobby.

Wait for the big, unquestionable fuck yes. Whether it comes back to you from someone who is already in your life or [more likely] an amazing person you've yet to meet who will blow anyone else out of the water.

In other words, it ain't worth settling. Because you, my friend, deserve magic. You deserve #FuckYes.


T-Swift Gets It (+ new Bliss Beat!)

I have been a huge fan of Taylor Swift for a long time now (old ladies who love T representing at three concerts now!), mostly because I think she's a very talented song writer and a strong role model. She's a breath of fresh air in an over-sexed, overly perfect world of singers exuding the traits that young women think they need to live up to to be cool, desired, & respected. And she's damn smart. Her songs are successful because they really resonate with a generation of women and young girls going through the things she writes about. She's accessible. She's had similar struggles. And most importantly, she's authentic, and her authenticity and quirkiness are what make her universally loved.

Shake It Off is just another example of her message: be yourself, love who you are, and you will shine brighter. Who cares what other people think, as long as you're having fun and expressing your joy. Even if you can't "dance," or you're kind of goofy, or you're _________. You are you, and that's who you're here to be.

It's a message that young girls these days really need to hear. <3


"What I'm studying is how much love there can be..."

[ted id=1756]  

My good friend Sap sent me this Ted Talk, and I can't even tell you how much I loved it.

The talk really got me to thinking about my Grandfather, who is deaf and has been from a young age. He has an amazing spirit, and is very kind, thoughtful, and funny - however, I've always wondered about how his life would be better and how the depth of our relationship could grow were he to be able to hear. Yet, Andrew Solomun makes a great point: everyone has their own culture, in many cases because of their unique differences-- and they don't want to be "cured," per se, they want to be accepted for who they are.

When it comes down to it, isn't that true for all of us? We want to be embraced for who we are at our core, not 'fixed' and freed from our flaws. What makes us different brings light to all of the beauty around us, and teaches profound lessons in acceptance. One size does not fit all.

And as Andrew put it, "diversity of family strengthens the eco-system of kindness."